Baking
This weekend will find me baking lots of delicious goodies I will give out to everyone to celebrate the holidays. I have mentioned how my neighbors and I have grown much closer in our relationships over the last 8 months. They call or stop by and visit, or I stop by when I'm walking the boys. Recently, one of my neighbors came by and said 'I just love stopping by, your house always smells so good, you are always baking some goodness and I know there's going to be a treat for me'. That is true, I do love to bake; well cook in general. I believe I had made Pumpkin cupcakes some with chocolate chip and some with raisins the day before for a church event. I don't mind for anyone to 'pop in'.. and to share some coffee and a pastry and fellowship!! Since the house is for sale, I keep it ready to show at a moments notice, so it's always very neat - which I always did anyway, but now is even easier to do since it's just me and my wee little boys and my girl Maisy. This is a nice house, but it doesn't feel any longer like my home. Although I'm thankful for my new relationships, which I plan to always nurture, I will feel tremendously blessed when the house sells and I can move into someplace I can call my own 'home'. I hope you have some delicious goodies this holiday season too, love love...
Snow!
We got our first snow today! It was so beautiful. We are supposed to get more tonight and it will be much colder, so this might stay on the roads. The 'boys' and I will just cuddle up and watch movies and that's just fine with me. I had to take my wee one Ollie to the vet, he has a 'cold', but I think he will be just fine. More later, love love....
Merry Christmas & the difference a Year Makes!
Look at MY BOYS, aren't they just adorable? They are helping me decorate in that photo and napping together in the other. Ollie is fitting in nicely now. Since last year, I've lost 215 lbs - 30 of my own and 185 of really useless weight, ha, and and traded out males- I gained a little wee six lb dog who is a much kinder for the house. Look at the first picture. That is me last year, then look at the picture of me with Ollie - can't you see a HUGE difference? I look pale and unhealthy in the first one. I was very depressed and miserably unhappy and keeping things to myself about how awful my marriage was and all the terrible things I had found out he had done. Secrets will eat a person up inside! But now look at me! I'm literally glowing! I'm so excited about Christmas this year. I'm having a great time already. Hope you are as well, love, love...
Family and friends...
A few weeks ago I took a trip with my Grandmother (I can only pray to age as well!) and niece Summer to visit my father and beautiful stepmother at their beautiful cabin on the Toccoa river in the blue ridge mtns of northern Ga. I had such a wonderful time. We took a train ride by the river to Macaysville; but most special part was spending time w/ my family. My father did treat us to a very decadent fresh lobster dinner - for my Grandmother's bday. He was so very sweet to her all weekend. She's going to teach me to sew and quilt and I'm very enthusiastic about that. It's been so nice to be able to bond with my family and friends these last 7 months. There are still more family and friends I want to spend time with and when I move closer to town and have more free time (and $ since I am the only one paying the mortgage payment til the house sells which I hope is soon!!)- I plan on doing just that. I long to see my cousins and aunt and uncle in Ga badly, especially my new little cousin Oliver.
Well, time to go decorate the house for Christmas, love love...
Thanksgiving week
Here is a recent picture of my dear friend Rob and my beautiful niece Summer prior to attending my friend Lisa's 'vintage' wedding a few weeks ago. We couldn't have had better weather. And what a beautiful bride! We had a great time dancing, especially Summer, she was the Belle of the Ball. This Thanksgiving week, I have much to be thankful for; as I am truly blessed. A year ago my world was rocked very hard and was for many months. The changes were difficult for me, but they have been very positive for me. I think for a while, it was difficult for me to see how much better my life would be without being married to my ex husband. I took my commitment to him very seriously, as a lifetime commitment. It was difficult for me to shake that my future life would change so significantly, that we were never the couple I thought we were because it was all based on lies, and afraid of the unknown. Not to mention my self esteem was very fragile from the bashing I had received for sometime. We hold onto ideas, thoughts, feelings, because they are what we know, familiar and we don't have the confidence to face the unknown future. Sometimes being in a relationship with someone can be like a drug addiction, even though it's so very unhealthy for you, it's so hard to want to end it because you think you can't make it, can't possibly be happy without it.
We must be terribly myopic and shortsighted people during times of pain and can make such poor decisions. I knew months before I filed for divorce that my ex was not deserving of my partnership, but I would not give up. I'm so thankful for friends and family who persisted that I end the madness b/c that was what was truly destroying me, not being without him. He would not change, I had to change the situation. I am thankful for my life being so different than it was last year. I am so much happier, so much more fulfilled. And it has nothing to do with any relationship - in every way it has much to do with the LACK of that relationship. I have healthy fulfilling relationships with my friends and family now and ones that make me proud. I have so much to be thankful for - I probably did not think so many months ago; but I am very certain of that now.
I may not be much, and I have many faults, but for the most part I live an honest caring life that I can be proud of, helping others as often as I can; I don't live a duplicitous, scheming, unkind life to my brothers and sisters and for that I am also thankful. I am also thankful that somehow God has seen to heal my heart from the sadness, grief, hurt and anger. I just feel happiness and joy most days. I'm working my way back to my old self and that feels entirely wonderful especially because I've been so encouraged and affirmed by others who LOVE me for who I am. I like feeling comfortable in my own skin again. Feeling joy and lots of laughter and happiness. Being helpful and kind and having energy. I am no longer bitter or angry. I was afraid all the ugliness with the lies, stealing, unfairness, they tried to perpetrate on me might actually take effect, but it was only mildly irritating. I'm sure they will try harder, as that is their nature, but I have my wits about me, my spirituality in tact and a support system beyond measure. In the end, as we know, it's their Karma, not mine they effect by treating me so badly. It's inescapable- even driving a nail in a piece of wood - you take it out, but the hole still remains - forever. I'm thankful for my perspective and the people who helped me get there as well.
Happy Thanksgiving, Love, Love...
Laurel Falls Hike
I love East Tn in the fall! Here's pictures from a hike we took while camping at Elkmont - this is my friend Rob and niece Summer.
Introducing Ollie
I've been looking for a new little friend for Chewy. As I've mentioned, Chewy is so friendly. Never met a human nor animal soul he's not longed to befriend. My neighbors and I have become so close over the last many months and we talk often. They call me to see how I'm doing and I really appreciate that. My neighbor Bruce phoned me to say hello and said 'Did I know anyone who might be looking for a little Pomeranian'...He had a cousin who needed to find a home for hers little seven yr old guy. Well... as some of you might know, I've had two of the little fellas. I told him, have his cousin call me. We had a great talk and planned a few play dates. It didn't go so well initially, but she left him with me and after two weeks now, he and little Chewy are like Frick and Frack. He makes Chewy look like a Giant. He's found his position on the bed - at the top of my pillow! He's been shaved for the summer and my friend Rob says he's 'translucent'.. ha.. that we can draw his organs on him w/ a marker. He definitely is an odd little guy, but so are we, and he certainly fills a niche here at the house that was missing; he needed us and we needed him, so it just makes it that much sweeter. Chewy enjoys having his friend to pal around with, but he is very jealous of sharing his Mom with anyone and that is an adjustment for us. The wee one has become at home here and is fiercely protective of the house and his human. You can hear him bark from the road when a car pulls up. Chewy would probably (and probably has) licked any intruders. So, it's a good match. This wee one is only friendly to those we know, he's quite the little protective dog, like those little ones can be. And the big girl Maisy, well, she was already put out over Chewy, so she's really not too much different. I'm thankful to have the house filled with unconditional love from my baby boys - as we go through this adjustment phase despite- and then some regard from a cat.. :).... love love... julie
